Manage your lover's quarrels in times of Coronavirus - vitapsy


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Manage your lover's quarrels in times of Coronavirus

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In unprecedented times like these, we as humans are living in unfamiliar circumstances, we have not had the time to process and fully adapt yet. Covid-19 was declared a Pandemic just 4 months ago, panic settled amongst us because we have no control over the spread, nor do we have control over the solution to an invisible enemy attacking the human race.
There is no doubt about the massive impact Covid-19 has had over the past few months on all aspects of our lives, it is not only a highly dangerous virus that required us to change our daily routines and our social habits, but it has also forced a generalized anxiety worldwide regarding our future with no correct answer to ease the fear.
The anxiety is creeping up on us in our daily interpersonal interactions, and it is causing a spike in arguments, disputes, quarrels, fights and eventually breakups.
Recent numbers show an approximate 25% increase of use in forums and blogs related to "breakups" comparing to 2019's same period of time. One might wonder about the sudden magnitude in breakups but the explanation is simple, when you think of Covid-19 as a disaster hitting couples all over the world, Covid-19 is making us grieve, we have lost what we had, and we are scared of losing part of whom we have become. Did you know that 80% of couples don't survive the loss of a child? Those are the scary dreadful statistics, because each partner grieves very differently from the other, and the difference starts causing several sequel disagreements. Couples are living the Pandemic in a grieving state of mind.
Disagreements need managing, and not everyone is good at managing their disputes, this is the famous snowball effect, it's when an argument of small significance breaks and builds upon itself until it reaches a dangerous and/or disastrous stage, "the breakup". The Pandemic has placed us in a state of constant stress with nowhere to run, hide and vent, but this does not give us the right to feed upon each other's anger and frustration and lose what we have built together as couples, with the excuse being your significant other's irrational behavior. Why not learn how to manage our disagreements and put the snowball effect to an end. Anthropologically speaking, all sorts of competitions are the evolved Man's way of channeling our instinct for war. This is how we are built, we love winning, and this is why in competitions the presence of a referee is mandatory, to ensure a fair fight, according to a set of specific rules. When you argue with your significant other, both of you should be a referee and have a clear set of rules to manage your "war". Follow these rules to ensure a win-win situation out of an unpleasant one.
Keep in mind that a lover's quarrel is never a war, and it is never about winners and losers, on the contrary it is about both of you taking a step further, growing as a couple. Lose the "childish" exhibitionist act, having online communication, back and forth messages, using social media as a weapon with an army of friends and family rooting for one team against another is toxic to both of you, humiliating and insulting. Name-calling, insults, blaming and degrading are unquestionable tools to turn disagreements into fights, when you intentionally hurt your partner they are bound to fight back "dirty" and scar forever, detaining your couple in a vicious cycle, when you scar you tend to bring up the past in your next disagreement, stay in the present. Always remember that "breakup threats" are the quickest way to provoking your partner's ego and making them say what they do not mean, a wise and healthy breakup decision should be made upon reason and not emotional distress and impulsiveness. Take turn listening while the other is speaking, not planning your comeback, it's a two-way street. You can always take some time-out if you feel overwhelmed and reassess your situation.

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